The Vatican recently issued a set of Ten Commandments for motorists. I thought it appropriate that road cyclists too have their own.
1. Pray as you cycle, but not with your hands together and your eyes closed.
2. Older cyclists must always wear a helmet leaving the roadside lasses and girls guessing your ‘young’ age.
3. You shall not run red lights, except when there is no one else around. Cyclists have no exception to the road rules. True, you will not kill anyone, but most others on the road can kill you.
4. Make a sign of the cross when a mad motorist cuts you off. He is closer to heaven than you are!
5. Thou shall wave to all your fellow cyclists and feel good about them. Do try to comment on their cycles and their peddling. If they should ignore you, offer your blessing, and not the sinful comment “F**k you, moron.”
6. Thou shall not pee by the roadside alone. To do it, always take the group’s opinion.
7. Pre-glued puncher patches are costly. Let others carry it for you. You carry the hand-pump. Team spirit will keep others stock all these consumable essentials!
8. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s cycle, his health, his tools and goodies that keep him cycling.
9. Thou shalt not lie. Thou shalt not go on Internet forums and make stories to all your friends how you pumped-up a 8,000-foot climb, when the biggest ‘mountain’ in your area is an over-bridge next to your house!!
10. Thou shall always carry peanuts chikki (the cheapest eatable) while on century rides and leave the costly chocolates and cakes for your fellow cyclists. And, at the roadside eatery, pretend as if you have genuinely forgotten to take your wallets. After a long trail, team bonding is strong and there will be many fellow cyclists ready to hoot the food-bill!